It happens all the time - usually women do it with the family home, but sometimes men will do it, too. They get stuck on the idea that they should keep the family home so that their kids will be able to stay in the home they grew up in. So many women fight to keep the family home - in the end, these women suffer the emotional devastation and enormous stress of struggling against losing the family home that they fought so long and hard for in a divorce.
The reality of divorce is that it costs more for two people to live apart than together. For most divorcing couples, the money that used to support the family rather comfortably in the family home WILL NOT support two households with two sets of everything - bedrooms, telephone bills, electric bills, rent/mortgage - many people do not realistically account for every penny that they spend on their homes, or they just were not involved in the family finances - either way, you should be very sure of the true cost of running a home - including having to hire people to do things around the house your former spouse once did - before you take on the responsibility.
The bottom line is, don't fight for property you can't afford to upkeep and maintain. Houses, recreational vehicles, snowmobiles, boats, 4-wheelers, second homes/timeshares, and cars, all have recurring expenses. If your post-divorce budget is not going to allow you to keep up with those expenses, then it is usually best to sell these things and share the proceeds of the sale with your soon to be ex, or let him buy you out. Just remember, always talk to a tax advisor about the tax implications of how you propose to divide your assets, so that you can make decisions about your financial future that are best for your specific situation.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Monday, March 2, 2009
The Divorce Checklist
When suddenly faced with the prospect of divorce, you may feel overwhelmed with many unanswered questions -
Who will the children live with?
Will I pay/receive child support?
How does my divorce affect my tax filing and status?
Can I continue to be on my spouse's health insurance after the divorce?
Will I lose the marital home in this divorce?
My spouse has stopped paying (fill in the blank), how will this affect my credit?
Who will have to pay the credit card debt?
What happens to the retirement accounts, pension, life insurance annuities?
What things do I get to keep as my own property?
Here's a list that you can use to help you organize your thoughts and get through this:
Attorneys fees and costs. Who is going to pay? Go over the rules in your area about attorneys fees with your attorney
Child Custody and Support - Sharing the time and responsibility of raising the children, where and with whom the child will live, child support, vacations, transportation between parents, education, extracurricular activities, clothing and the childrens' personal effects. Parents need to work on solving these issues together in order to foster stability, safety, and emotional health and well being for their children.
Marital home. Is one spouse going to buy out the other? Should the home be listed for sale to a third party? Do you need to refinance or do a short sale? Should one spouse stay in the home until the children are grown? Divorcing parties need to agree, or a judge will decide this issue for you. It is the same for any other real estate investment property, time shares, vacation homes, rental income.
Personal property - who gets what? Make a list of all the things that you think you and your spouse need to divide up, where the things came from - a wedding gift from Aunt Sally, your mother's china, apurchase during the marriage- and give it to your lawyer with a wish list of what you'd like to keep after the divorce.
Gifts between spouses - the "big ticket" items like your engagement ring, the big screen TV for husband's birthday, the DVD player for Christmas - they can technically be "marital property" that you and your spouse are entitled to share - these should be divided up fairly, remembering that you gave that gift as just that, a gift!
The family pet - even though we treat them as members of the family, your dogs, cats and other domesticated creatures are property, and can be divided up like the rest of your things.
Joint accounts such as bank accounts, credit cards, car insurance, cell phone accounts, utility accounts, life insurance "cash values", these all need to be separated. Discuss the timing with your attorney.
Debts such as mortgages, lines of credit, car loans, credit cards, income taxes, personal loans from family members - these debts need to be divided up between the parties, so you should make every effort to have an accurate list of these debts, the date they were incurred, the purpose of the debt, the original balance, the outstanding balance, and whether or not the payments are current or delinquent, for your attorney.
Has your spouse spent money and rang up debt, in order to satisfy an alcohol/drug habit, a gambling problem, a shopping addiction, or spent money on a paramour? This is known as dissipation of marital assets, and is a serious issue affecting your property rights. Consult with your attorney.
Alimony, maintenance, spousal support - in New York it is at the discretion of the Judge, so talk with your attorney about the current state of the law in your jurisdiction and how it may be applied to your divorce situation. Health insurance - probably the one of the most important issues that needs to be solved with the help of your attorney. The financial consequences of not making proper arrangments for you health insurance can last a lifetime.
Relocation with children. Often times a spouse would like to relocate with the children to be closer to their family, as a result of better job opportunities, or to follow a new paramour. This causes many custody disputes to land in Court - if the parents cannot decide, it is often left to a judge's decision. If relocation is a possibility in your case for either you or your spouse, you should bring this up with your attorney.
Name change…usually the wife has the option of restoring her former name during divorce proceedings.
Cars, boats, trucks, tools, equipment, computers. You and your spouse are in a better position to know how to fairly divide these items between you than a stranger - such as the judge or your lawyers.
The business or businesses. If formed or expanded during the marriage, a business can be subject to division of property, so consult with your attorney.
In this internet age, many people use email, social networking sites, online dating services, photo and video publishing websites, and other public forums to express themselves. This information can be used in a divorce proceeding, so be careful what you put out there!
Friends and family can have well intentioned opinions on how you should handle your divorce and your soon-to-be ex…sometimes this advice is good, oftentimes it can be bad. Do try to follow the advice of your experts such as lawyers, CPAs, counselors, therapists and psychologists, doctors, financial planners and the like. That’s what you pay us for!
For additional information on any of these issues, or to set up an appointment for a consultation, please call my law firm, Kara Mackey Dopman, Attorney at Law (518-792-1461)
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Cheap Divorces Online? strategies and resources
As I watch the news on the economy every day - job loss, unemployment, foreclosures, hard working couples under enormous financial stress - I know that these tough times will push many marriages to the breaking point
The prospect of divorce can be emotionally and financially draining - how can you possibly get divorced if you are already broke?
Most if not all states have self represented ("pro-se") divorce packets that you can fill out you and your spouse agree on all aspects of the divorce - child custody, parenting time, support, alimony, maintenance spousal support, dividing the assets and the debts, the marital home, tax exemptions, pensions, retirement accounts - all issues that go into making divorce agreement
The number one way to be successful at handling your own divorce? BOTH the parties must be open to agreement and compromise - ready, willing, and able to negotiate and amicably settle the issues between them without a long drawn out legal battle
If you have children, assets (real estate, personal property, retirement accounts, pensions, savings), and debts - a consultation with a licensed attorney who is experienced in divorce matters in your area would be a wise investment.
Most (if not all) attorneys would be willing to offer you advice on your self-help divorce, for a reasonable fee.
- Paying a lawyer to advise you on your rights under the law and their professional opinion about the settlement that you have negotiated with your partner - BEFORE finalizing the divorce - can save you money, headaches, and heartache in the future!
- An experienced divorce attorney can help you to get the appropriate documents completed and filed while offering professional divorce advice to help make this difficult time a little less stressful for all involved
If you need to find a licensed divorce lawyer in your area, these websites have lawyer referral services at no cost to you -
Unless you have a very good understanding of local divorce laws and the legal process in general, filing your own divorce papers may be difficult. I have found the following websites to contain helpful information and reasonable fees for "do it yourself" divorce forms and document preparation:
Even if you have done the research on "do it yourself" divorces, and researched all of the self help information that is available, should you ever feel overwhelmed and unable to handle your divorce on your own, you can always seek professional legal advice with a divorce attorney in your area.
The information contained in this post is designed to be used for reference purposes only. It should not be used as, in place of or in conjunction with professional legal advice regarding divorce, child custody, alimony, self help divorce and/or divorce laws. If you are in need of divorce advice or are considering a marriage separation, consult with a professional divorce lawyer in your area for further information and/or divorce advice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
